If you want to leave your footprints
On the sands of time
Do not drag your feet
When life permits me to look back, I always search to find the traces of steps in the roads I have taken. Sometimes when I don't find them, I wonder did I actually drag my feet there! It is hard to remember because moments move away so soon that some of them leave no marks in that portion of my mind which we call memory and in some, I leave no traces.
While transcending through the different and not so different phases of my life, I have tried to leave the previous phases in a way that I do not drag momentoes into the new phase. And later I have waited for those momentoes to enter my world at their own pace. I dream, I expect and I wish. So there have been so many such things which I have wanted to enter my present from those previous phases but sometimes they did not. During such realisations, I have consoled myself saying that they weren't worth it. But it could be that I was wrong. Had I dragged them at my own will, with my pace, may be they still would have been my present. But I could not do so then and I cannot do it in future. You see I could not leave my trace so strongly that they could have followed me. There have also been times when an unexpected part of my past had appeared all of sudden in my life and become a part of my present. That is when I realise that I have left traces even in those moments that did not make marks in my memory.
The advancing times are one of those in which I will probably enter one of my life's most different phase. There is still time, I know, but I am already observing to decide which are the ones that I want in my future, which are the ones that can follow me and which are the ones I may need to drag. Actually, it is not as difficult to identify them as it is to decide whether I would like to drag them with me. The problem this time is however that I can see those things will not follow me and if I do not drag them, its like saying I am leaving them at my own will... consciously.
Were my steps so light that I could not leave my footprints for them to follow?
3 comments:
Hi Anki ! :)
Hmm good to c a post (infact 2 ! - after 1 month) .. u'll perhaps better appreciate the meaning of these words when u come in work life where we seldom come across thoughts of honest ppl (esp with no net)
Now the post, ponderings of Moon :) ... of traces and memories ... you start with a righteous policy sis.. and yet somewhere down the end of this post ... you reach an ambiguity ... I know it's not comfortable (2 say the least) .. but yet, there's a choice to make, and at times we do make decisions which remind us of being human - decisions where we choose between the fine line of convenience and correctness ... I believe whatever you choose, you'll do it with full clarity Anki !!!
Ah as for the self-doubt you mention, I believe the thing goes beyond the realms of absoluteness, it's about the paradigm, the way you look at it, you may console yourself (as u point out) or may feel sad for your 'steps' as you refer ... but sister ... once you look around at the momentoes which 'did' follow, and their feelings, your apprehensions will be replaced by a smile, for it's not about the reasons always ... Life's random with its own rules and whims ... it's perhaps much like Clavin :D (truly) ....
Keep grinning ..
tc
P.S.: this line was nice - I dream, I expect and I wish
interesting thoughts ..
maybe it doesn't hurt to make a conscious effort to try and leave your footprints sometimes :)
btw, congratulations for the job offer(s) !!
Neither were ur steps too light....nor anyone can erase the footprints.....it depends on u how u look on them.......Footprints are the imprints, smudges on the sand of heart.....not the bright pictures of the past.
They r always bleak...making us think n relive the moments spent.
Cheers
Khushi
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