On the journeys of my life

I remember travelling a lot. Every two or three years, we would pack our bags and set off for a new destination. Not all of them have been awesome but I grew to love them nevertheless. I loved the places and more than that I loved the preparation, the journey, the anticipation before knowing where I will be next.  I have never stopped boasting about it. Even today if I get a chance, I do that. I tell people that the number of states that I lived in is more than I can count on my fingers, I tell them that I have lived the life of the drought prone villages as well as the national capital of the country. I tell them I had travelled in trains, buses, flights, jeeps, and even trucks before I was even 10. I never, never regret those journeys or places. I am not in touch with any of the people from there. I don't think I will recognise them if I ever come across any of them. I don't think I remember the places much either but only in bits and pieces, the amazing journeys and the feelings that came with it. 

But I was young then, intrigued by the idea of new people, new places, new stories, new friends. Later in life, I have wondered how different would I have been if there were no journeys. I have wondered how is it to grow up rooted in a single place with same neighbours, with friends whom you know from childhood throughout your life. I have wondered if it would have been much the same. Perhaps not. Today I know that transfers are different from travels. That it is possible to travel and still be rooted to a place. I don't know how different that would have been or how similar. I know that if I have to choose for today, I will choose travel over transfer but not for yesterday. 

The yesterday's journeys have given me a thirst for novelty, curiosity to know more, travel (a little), to try and know people, to be a little more sensitive to differences, to be open to ideas, to be comfortable with solitude and more than that to love books. But perhaps it is also because of travels, that the idea of settling down unsettles me.To be in a place with no thoughts of ever leaving it, frightens me. The journeys have also made me detest cities. I like the calmness of towns and villages better. I probably miss out the fact that there are less luxuries and opportunities there, that my line of work allows me to stay only in big cities (That's not true at all. Never believe that no matter what your line of work is!). But the cities scare me and I continue to live there. (Such is life!) 

They say the towns are no better these days. But how can they say, when they don't know what is it that I am scared of, when I have no idea what is it that I scared of. We are shaped by the journeys we have taken and also the ones that we have missed. A person can be known better by the things he or she evades than the ones he or she is ready to confront. How much do I know myself?

My Watchlist - Animation II

Now those of you who read my last movies post (My Watchlist - Animation), took my suggestion and watched the last 5 movies then decided never to take my suggestion ever again, this list is for you. Basically it is a fun list with animations as you expect them to be.

I will start with Up. Amazing movie!!! This is a movie that tells you that neither romance nor adventure has anything to do with age. So those of you thought that in the coming years, age is going to be your excuse for shying away from either of these, it is time you found another excuse. And there is another thing that this movie says ... but if I tell you that there wouldn't be much left in the movie. So go find it yourself. 

On a day like today

Dear Silence,

Most of the time I love rains. And I have really cherished memories about them be it in the school days, college or work as must be evident from my numerous chats with you regarding rains. Although sometimes the muddy puddles in the middle of the road are a cause of too much inconvenience specially after rain has left. And yet the early morning drizzle like that of today often fills me with apprehension and gloom. If I wake up to rain, the most usual thing to do is to go back to sleep and wake up a little later hoping that I have successfully shortened the gloomy day to some extent. Unless commitments of the day render such a plan completely useless. In that case I just give in to my feelings.

My Watch List - Animation

This is not a movie review.

During my stay in K, I had the chance to watch a couple of movies. Animation was top in my list and luckily I found quite a lot of them. :) Here is a list (not in any particular order) of some interesting animated movies that I came across. Not all of these are watched in K but I remember most of them are. I will skip the usual favorites of Toy Story, Lion King, etc but I cannot skip Wall E. 

Anybody with even the slightest interest in animation, must watch this.  I could tell you the summary but why spoil the fun, and anyways IMDB is always there for that. So it is the story of a lonely robot who falls in love and then moves across the universe (literally to find her). Now that plot itself would melt the heart of any romantic but that is not all. The movie is also about us and how we will have destroyed the earth. It is also about technology taking over us and about hope. But most of all I love it because there is so so much expressed in the movie with the minimum words.Lets start with the lighter ones now.

A walk to remember

“The journey to a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
So does the journey of a lifetime!

It all started with that walk, at least for me.

It was the month of June, 24th June to be precise. The year was 2007. He dropped in to Bangalore for a quick visit (that is how I perceived till then.) You can't do much with much with your friends on an unplanned weekend. The options are pretty much the same - movies, shopping, museums/places to see in the city or just sit in the cafe and talk/gossip. If it is not a girl, the option of shopping gets almost cancelled unless of course you have something specific in mind. We had the whole day in hand - sitting in the cafe for the whole day - doesn’t make much sense. I was new in the city, didn't have much idea of where to go. So we opted for the first option - movie. It was a Sunday and actually I had already watched a movie the day before (with him) – “The Fantastic Four”. But still, a movie was the preferred choice. I had reasons -

• I hadn’t seen a movie (other than on comp/TV) for a long time.
• I was still a broke (it was my first month of job) and he was paying.
• I was saved from one of the most dreaded activity - talking about me! Its not that I am bad at conversation, I just don't prefer initiating.
• One movie would mean at least 3 hours taken care of. Then there is the time in the queue and the transport time (with the traffic). So I don't have to worry what to do the whole day!

But I wasn't that lucky actually. We didn't get tickets. I was hopeful considering the last day's luck. (I got to know later it had more to do with his 'skills' than luck) So we came out of the complex and started considering our options once again. If you ask me, at that precise moment I was wondering if there was a way I could just go home. I knew what was coming - the cafe thing! Oh no!

"Let's take a walk" - I blurted out. "May be we can walk home." It wasn’t a small distance. And I actually didn’t consider that ever. But it was a spontaneous action to evade sitting and talking. Walking is much more fun. He was reluctant. He considered for a few moments and asked if I was sure that I wanted to do that. I was persistent. It was probably his disbelief that made him agree. He was sure I wouldn't last even fifteen minutes. I was in my sports shoes; his footwear was actually unfavorable for such a task. I hadn't noticed. He could have told me. He didn’t. To my surprise we started. Yes, to my surprise! Although it was my suggestion, I was hoping he would disagree and try to convince me that it was a foolish idea. It was actually. Even I knew. But I still wanted to do it because it was so spontaneous and out of the normal things to do.

We didn't know the way. In fact I didn’t know and he wasn’t expected to know because it was his first visit to the city. So we walked randomly. He asked directions sometimes in the local dialect (he knew that because it was a part of his work). And we ended up walking in the worst parts of the city. You know the slum-kind of areas that are hidden from public view but still exist, those parts. We talked while walking. I was enjoying the conversation mostly so much that I failed to notice the surrounding areas. Or I noticed but they failed to make any impression. Occasionally he looked at me. Or may be he did it always, I noticed it occasionally. It is difficult to notice if you prefer not to look directly. I enjoyed his fleeting glances. Sometimes he will ask "Are you sure you still want to walk?" and I would reply back "Sure. I am fine. Are you ok?" He would say "of course". He wouldn’t say "Let’s take an auto" even if he wanted. Something to do with male ego I guess. I wouldn't budge, he wouldn't budge. So we walked. And we walked for a little more than three hours until we reached a main road and I found a place to sit. He said 'let's take an auto' and we did.

I enjoyed the walk, although probably it wasn't the kind that one enjoyed. Walking through the slum areas, past the drains, the dumping grounds, dodging the piles of garbage is not one of the activities one enjoys. I did not enjoy because of these rather I enjoyed in spite of all these. I enjoyed because of the company, because I was doing something spontaneous without any worries of what will happen (after a long time), because I was happy (and surprised) to see him agree to a foolish idea for my sake (or so I think), because I was enjoying his fleeting glances without looking directly at him and because it was fun to see him walk with me (it was my idea) even when it had turned out such a bad idea.

In fact it was only after the walk that I became comfortable in his presence, laughed and talked to him without inhibitions. In the end of the day when we parted, he said he wouldn't forget the walk, that it was a 'walk to remember'. I smiled knowing that for me it was much more than just a walk...

Happy birthday sweetheart. :)

Small updates

I know, I know, I know. I know what you all have to say. I really have abandoned my blog!

Small update 1: I am going HOME :)
That will be after 6 months. It is not much may be but trust me it feels like years. So end of next week, I will be on my way. And this time it will be a long train journey to home. Frankly though, there is something about train journeys that I had been missing. It replaces the hurried moments of everyday with a lazy lingering essence. Especially when the journey extends from one day to another. Then again the journey in itself could give some mighty memorable moments.

All in all I am looking forward to it. And I have a lot to finish before that at my office as well as home.

Small update 2: I am shifting apartment (if i can call it so). That too as soon as I return. So I will have to finish all my packing before that. Now if you thought I don't have lot of things to pack. You are right. Except that I seem to have collected a good number of books.

This is how it was a year back. If I have added even half of this in rest of the time, you will realize I am not joking.
(In case you are wondering, no, I haven't read all of them. There are one or two that I have saved for dry spells. )

And of course there are clutters that I have to go through and decide which are the ones that I should keep. Now I understand why my Dad always insisted on me to go through my stuffs each time before we shifted. I always did. It is altogether a different thing that I never threw away anything :D. I can find long-lost-half-written-mostly-forgotten scribblings even today somewhere among them even though we have shifted 8-9 times. (I must be exaggerating! #Note to self: Ask Dad how many times we have shifted# ).

I guess that is all the update that I have. Hopefully I will have something more to write when I return.

Ciao

Re-view

This post comes a bit earlier than expected. Actually I wanted to postpone it till my semester exams but then I coudnt resist the idea to write it now itself. Two months isn't too much a long time but still some of the ideas given below might just change in the coming tima-span of 2 months.
The opinions stated below have taken more or less 4 years to develop and are applicable only to my stay here for the last 4 years.

Five things I regret:

1) My fuchha skit (at least my part) was such a disaster that I couldnt gather the courage to face the audience one more time. Not just for theatre but song, dance and even Lit activities. I really regret it.

2) Four years but I haven't yet seen sunrise in the ghats. Two of my attempts have failed miserably because the sun decided to betray me. (I hope to take care of this one in the remaining days)

3) I couldn't have the pleasure of riding a tonga yet although I had this wish from the 1st yr itself.

4) There are about 4 sites of waterfall nearby. I could visit just one.

5) Now this one is on the academic part - I could not maintain the minimum grade that I wanted to or rather could have.

[That I could never take part in Mirage would have been one of my foremost regrets, had this year's Mirage not disappointed me]

Five most memorable times:

1) My first year. The times in the class as well as outside it. Quite unlike others, that was the time when I was seldom home-sick.

2) The National youth fest that took place in our University. I was in the organising team and had a festive time during all the days.

3) The industrial tour. I hadnt at all expected it to be so much enjoyable and memorable. A heartfelt thanks to some of my classmates.

4) The surprise party on my birthday last year. It fills me with all smiles with just its mention.

5) The final debate competetion this KY. I haven't had even half the fun I had in any other event where I have ever participated. Thanks to Sarda for forcing me into this.

Five memory-laden places:

1) VT. From the 1st year initial days to even now... some memorable moments were spent here.

2) Orchids. Some very enjoyable lunches/dinners with different group of people.

3) SB. Other than being the site for the KY events(including the disc), this place is memorable for the NYF activities - the dinner and the disc. Then it is the place that we (me and Anu) frequently reach while taking the walks between the classes.

4) My department. May be ruins but still the memory cannot be denied.

5) Last but the heaviest - My hostel (obviously) and my room especially.

Five group of people I cannot forget:

1) My roomie. This group has just 1 member. Shilpi.

2) My first year group. 5 members. Anu, Shubhi, Priya, Richa, Shilps

3) The NYF group. A lot of people, Most important being - Kapil Bh, Rajat, Vibhav Bh and Madhur Bh. Others include some 'pyare' juniors. :)

4) Among my hostelmates - Smiti, Gargi, Megha,... Jrs such as Arpi, Cherry,... some Srs such as Ritu... and the Mtech Srs with whom I shared the lobby for 6 months.

5) And ofcourse how can I forget some of my classmates with whom I have enjoyed the tour, the trip to falls, the KY disc, and not to mention the classes. :)

Five achievements here:

(Now this is relative. Some of the things mentioned below might not look like any achievment to you.)

1) My dream job.

2) My participating in Vitasta last year.

3) The beginning of my blogging.

4) My poetry writing reached a state of liberation and spontaenity here.

5) My befriending some really good friends. :) (and this is not exaggeration)

Thank you for your patience.
Happy Holi to all of you.

Seashells

The earliest and maximum number of my holidays have been spent in some sea beach areas. I don't even remember the names of all the beaches I have visited. Some very unknown yet beautiful (may be more so because they were untouched by the crowds !). From the east, west and the south, of each of these directions, I have visited atleast 1 beach (mind it, atleast 1).

The mighty sea never ceases to create a feeling of awe in my heart, even today if I see one, the first things that comes to my mind are its beauty, power and the stretch of land that keeps it in check! I remember I used to walk in the beaches after sunset. Away from the crowd and near the sea, where the waves can wash my feet each time they come, and as they moved away, I used to feel the sands below my feet slowly drifting away. I remember I used to see the huge height of the approaching waves with fear and surprise and still wait there till the wave splashed into drops of white foam. Then the sun that quietly found its way beneath the cover of the large blue mass during the sunset. I used to stand in the balcony or the window just to watch that. And after that when the crowd dispersed, I used to coax my Mom and Dad to take me for a walk. A late-riser, I missed the sunrise most of the time :D.

During my visits to the beaches, other than watching the sea waves, one more thing that I spent my time was in collecting sea shells. Small. big, broken, unbroken, coloured or white, it never mattered. They were my treasure. I used to roam about and collect them. Then when my small hands could not hold any more, I deposited them to my Mom and started collecting again. :D Even today (after so many transfers) somewhere in the boxes that hold my precious treasures, there are those seashells. It just makes me smile. :)

I never thought, when I will open my closed fist to see the shells that I treasured so much, I will find nothing but trifles from my childhood.

Just remembering

I dont know in which class I was, may be Vth or VIth when this incident took place.

In the backyard of our house, we had a tree. I was told it was a guava tree. It was dry, had no leaves, never did it bear even a single fruit. It did not give shade in the hot summer days, nor was it good enough to be climbed or for the use for a tree house. Basically a useless tree that we seldom noticed. It didnt come close to the house or its fence. So it was neither a treat nor a threat. Except perhaps that it engaged too much of our backyard which could have been used for something else. But I dont think any of us ever gave that a thought. In course of time we grew oblivion of its presence, watching it everyday yet never giving a thought.

One afternoon, however on returning from school, I found the backyard filled with some 2-3 people (later I was told they were from municipality). I stood there and watched them as they chopped off its topmost branches, then the lower ones... and continued till there was nothing except a stump almost at the level of the ground. I dont know how long they took, but I stood there all the while watching them and even after they were gone, I stood there.

I dont remember being sad or even thinking about it ever again. Yet yesterday I found myself narrating the whole event to a friend. Why did this incident which I never thought about came back to me after 10 years.

I wonder how many such events or things are stored safely in my mind. I wonder how many such things to which I am indifferent at present will be rememberd by me in future. Just wondering.

Slipped away moments.

As I watch people moving around me so fast, I wonder am I standing still. (Ah that reminds me of "relative velocity") . Did time move away from me or did I run away? Probably we both diverged from each other and are still doing. (the universe is expanding). In the course of such a journey so many things have slipped away from my hand and I barely noticed. Coming home is a reminder of those slipped away things.

Each time I come home, my father tells me to look into my room and discard away the things that I dont need. I sit back and open the briefcases and cartons one by one and look at those memoirs of my school days. Each of them telling me a story. Cards, gifts, letters, photographs, slambooks, sometimes even a dried up leaf or flower carefully kept between the pages of my diary.

A few more steps back and I find my old dolls, torn and neglected. Once they used to be my constant companions. And as I go through the albums, it doesnt take much to relive those moments of birthday parties, the hue and cry I used to make to go there, the games, the delicious dishes, the surprises and the lost friends. I still remember some of the birthdays though I dont have any idea where to wish them... nov 22nd, dec 15th, march 6th... so many more. Have you ever tried holding grains of sand or even water in your clenched fist? It feels the same way.

But it doesnt end there. I am talking about things that left me long back and are too far way now. How about the things that slipped away recently. Here in my room, I find my unread books, unfinished poems and a story that I left half written, letters that I never posted, cards that I never sent, gifts that I never packed, paintings that I never completed, a diary entry which ended just with the date (I wonder what was it that I wanted to write).

I pack them back just as they were, not a single thing discarded, quietly saying "next time, dad, next time" and wondering will the next time ever come.

Of Books and Authors II

(For all the readers of this blog, I have included the links to my poems in the side-bar. If you go through them, don't forget to drop in your comment)

I never finished the more-than-1100-pages book in fear that once I finished, I would never care to look at Holmes again. Today I took out the book and smiled at myself.

Soon after this during the same years I was introduced to Ruskin Bond. It was his simplicity of words that stole my attention, the depth of his thoughts. And his stories were in first person and while reading them I felt as if I was his confidant. There was something personal in the way his stories were told, quite different from Dr Watson who (almost) merely placed the facts before the readers. There were more reasons - his closeness to nature and that he could touch all the stages of life - childhood, youth and old age in the same way. Then there was the twists he always managed to bring about in some of his short stories like "The eyes have it".

Coming to short stories of course how can I forget some of my all time favorites "The last leaf" by O.Henry, "The Open Window" by Saki, ... I am forgetting some of them, there are so many which I can always read and enjoy even for the umpteenth time. The best however remains "The face on the wall"by E.V.Lucas.

In my standard 9th and 10th I had to stop my frequent trysts with story books. Then in my 11th it started again. But this time the books were quite different. Most of the time I finished them just because I had started them. I didn't give them much of my time either. After 12th, I started classics. "Jane Eyre" was good. "Pride and Prejudice" was fine. But after reading "Sense and Sensibility", I lost interest. The next book I undertook was "Fountainhead". The philosophy went way over my head but I liked it because of the strength of the characters.

Many books came on my way after that - books by Jeffery Archer, "Harry Potter", "Class", "Animal Farm", "Diary of a young girl", and there were more (my memory fails me). I liked them for different reasons.

In the recent days I read Da Vinci Code, The Alchemist. I also read some Indian authors whom I liked because of the richness of language, the poetic approach and because it was not one of those cut-sliced-and-served-on-a-plate sort of book, it was as-you-want-to-take-it kind of book. This includes one more book "The pale view of hills" (my regrets, I forgot the name of the Japanese author).

But you see all these still do not answer the question "Who is my favourite author". All are so much different from each other and I like them for different reasons. Is it not possible that the question remains unanswered.

Of Books and Authors - I

I always believed reading is my hobby. Of course I will agree that from the vast sea of books that exist, what I have tasted probably does not constitute even one drop. But does that matter? I wonder. Then the usual question comes up, "Who is my favourite author". For various reasons I always stumble upon this question. Although I do manage to answer, but the question continues linger in my sub-conscious.

My earliest memories are of the "Champaks" and "Tinkles" that used to occupy most of my reading. Then came "Tintin", "Asterisks" and all. With the introduction to my mother tongue I came in touch with bengali works including compositions of my father. All these were very prized possessions of mine. And I still remember the feel of the warm fresh tears that streamed down my eyes when I was returned one of my prized possessions in tattered conditions. It was as if someone very close to me was returned to me in near-death condition after being brutally tortured. That was when I was in class 1st.

My change of school in 4th standard brought me to the magical world of library. And with that I was introduced to Enid Blyton and the like. I actually do not remember the various authors whose work I read then because at that time, the characters were more important. Some of the characters were Mr Pickwick, Amelia Jane, and how can I forget Alice and Peter Pan. Then came the adventures. My first step was Famous Five, then I ascended to Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys. But none of these made much of an impact.

It was then that I came across Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes. All previous books gave a feeling of imagination but this one was different. I used to get so engrossed while reading it that I thought I was a part of the team too. I started admiring Holmes. His deductions, calculated moves, acumen, penetrating mind, flawless logic, the calmness with which he dealt with the situations - all used to take away my breath. Each time I found him in some danger, my heart used to skip a beat. Everywhere I went, be it school or travel the almost 5 cm thick book was to be with me. For me he was a like a living legend and I denied to believe that he was a work of fiction. I still remember after I read a story in which he couldn't catch the culprit (the culprit was a lady) I remained heartbroken for quite sometime. That was in standard 7th - 8th.

I am sorry the constraint of time does not permit me to continue. So I will take a break today but I will return soon with the rest of the journey.

Ah Life!!!

Summer Vacations!!! Home Sweet Home!!!

 

And with the advent of monsoons all i want is to be in my room...on my bed  beside the open window and enjoying the drizzle outside with a sip of hot chocolate and something spicy to munch on !!! wow... LIFE!!!

 

Well it so happened that i came face to face with monsoon after a long time... and silly me, with no umbrella as usual cannot help getting stranded every now and then just anywhere. Like one day as i was coming back from lunch i reached my room all soaked up and drenched... and that reminded me of those school days when every 15th Aug and 26th Jan (yes i know u dont expect rains in Jan but thats how it happened)... we used to go to the parade ground... and as soon as we used to start... it just has to rain and that to heavily. We ofcourse cudnt run away...so we finished our part beneath the battering of the rain. And once we were all wet... umbrella and raincoats were of no use to us... and this was one time when we got drenched "legally"... well our parents cudnt scold us for this one.

And as i cycled back to home i would find my dear mom standing there waiting for her little girl... once at home i would be hushed to my room warmed up and given my glass of hot chocolate... and there i will be relishing those special attention... and no scolding.

 

Then once the rain was over... i used to come out for a walk or take my cycle with me... enjoy the cool breeze...the fragrance of the newly wet ground... the new green leaves... listen to the nusic of nature...find the puddles in the roads... and all of a sudden to the amazement of  an unaware pedestrian... SPLASH... then look at him/her with all innocence as if it was not my fault... and he/she would say "its ok beta"... and walk away cursing the rain or looking at the spoilt clothes...

 

Aha LIFE!!!

 

Now I guess since it has stopped raining... its my time to get back to the Lab!!!

 

Ah Life!!!