Footprints...

If you want to leave your footprints
On the sands of time
Do not drag your feet

When life permits me to look back, I always search to find the traces of steps in the roads I have taken. Sometimes when I don't find them, I wonder did I actually drag my feet there! It is hard to remember because moments move away so soon that some of them leave no marks in that portion of my mind which we call memory and in some, I leave no traces.

While transcending through the different and not so different phases of my life, I have tried to leave the previous phases in a way that I do not drag momentoes into the new phase. And later I have waited for those momentoes to enter my world at their own pace. I dream, I expect and I wish. So there have been so many such things which I have wanted to enter my present from those previous phases but sometimes they did not. During such realisations, I have consoled myself saying that they weren't worth it. But it could be that I was wrong. Had I dragged them at my own will, with my pace, may be they still would have been my present. But I could not do so then and I cannot do it in future. You see I could not leave my trace so strongly that they could have followed me. There have also been times when an unexpected part of my past had appeared all of sudden in my life and become a part of my present. That is when I realise that I have left traces even in those moments that did not make marks in my memory.

The advancing times are one of those in which I will probably enter one of my life's most different phase. There is still time, I know, but I am already observing to decide which are the ones that I want in my future, which are the ones that can follow me and which are the ones I may need to drag. Actually, it is not as difficult to identify them as it is to decide whether I would like to drag them with me. The problem this time is however that I can see those things will not follow me and if I do not drag them, its like saying I am leaving them at my own will... consciously.

Were my steps so light that I could not leave my footprints for them to follow?

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ESCAPE!!!

Sometimes as I walk my usual way, I have that feeling of escaping away...
Escaping to some far away place...
From this world, from reality, from everbody around me
Escaping alone... just on my own...

Do you recognise the above feeling as well as I do? I have heard, seen and felt that almost everyone around me has had this thought once in a while. So did I.

And I have found a numerous places where I escape to.

Books for instance are very common. Entering into a world of imagination not created by me. Walking into the unknown roads and discovering new places, new faces in each new page. Its like meeting new people, knowing them, understanding them and then looking into their lives. My real world fades in to a blur for the duration of my reading, I have escaped!

Then there are poems - the ones that I read are pretty similar to books. Then there are the ones that I write. Its my world. A situation I have created, assesed and reacted to. My fancy, my whim, that is not dependent on what actually happens. It takes me to the kind of world I want - the innocence of a child or the thoughtfulness of a thinker, the calmness of nature or the heights of civilization - I have escaped!

Some around 1 yr back, I discovered this one more world where I could escape at my will - the Blogsville. A world similar to the world of my books as well as my poems - this world has its own charms. I come here to walk some known paths as well as to discover some new ones ans with that sometimes I contribute to create some of its paths as well... and just like some previous moments now also I am escaping!

Sometimes I wonder, what is it that we all want to escape and what is that string which brings us back here. However much I try to escape, one thing is for sure I will come back here because I will never escape my dreams and they do have to come true :) ... some time, some day some way...

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From the torn pages of past

I was trying to relive the moments from my past when all of a sudden this particular thought which I have been eluding for so long knocked at the door of my mind. Ever since I started writing poems, I have been thinking of writing one on this incident... but somehow each time I felt I couldn't outline it the way I wanted to. I don't know if I could do it this time or not but this time, I decided to publish it.

May be the loooooooooooooong poem seem too boooooooooring. But you can give it a try, it is a true incident with not a single word of imagination or exaggeration.


Lost Thoughts

As a child, in my heart
A thought once appeared
The thought was precious to me
I held the thought dear
I waited so that I could
To all, make it known
That I wished to have
Have a rabbit of my own
I tended the thought with care
Each moment as I grew
And one day, that thought
Did actually come true
And on the morning of my
Special twelfth birthday
As a gift, to my home
A rabbit came to stay
Its nose was pink in colour
And eyes were burning bright
It was a bundle of soft fur
All coloured in pure white
I called it 'Honey', a sweet name
For the sweetest gift for me
Then I took it all around
For everyone to see
Honey was shy, silent too
And remained mostly hidden
The dark space beneath the cot
Was its favourite den
I brought it tender leaves to eat
And carrots for it to chew
Sometimes it just ran away
When I appeared to it as new
In few days, as time passed
It started to recognize me
It licked my hands when I came
Never again did it flee
It left its den to move around
All day it would just roam
And we found marks of its feet
Everywhere in our home
We brought a little wooden box
Where it could be then kept
With enough space where it jumped
And a couch where it slept
We took it to garden in the evening
And left it in the green
It nibbled the leaves near the ground
And ate the flowers clean
As it grew, it could not stay
Confined in the garden alone
One day it crossed the garden gate
To run among the stones
I was all too shaken
And trembled with fear
At the thought that someday
Honey could disappear
I brought it back to my home
And this time took special care
That wherever it ever went
I could always be near
Then one day I had to leave it
For quite a few days
As I was forced to go away
To some friend's place
I was assured that Honey would be
Specially taken care of
And even though I believed
My tears, I could not stop
Then when finally I returned
I found my house strange
There was silence everywhere
There was a curious change
I could not see Honey
Nowhere it was found
I searched the whole house
And the garden all around
The flowers were all blooming
The leaves were all fine
Honey had not touched them
Since long past time
The wooden box was empty
The couch was not slept on
And then I understood
Why my house was forlorn
I was taken inside softly
The truth was told to me
That the death of my Honey
Was an unknown mystery
I was told that it was fine
For two days after I was gone
And then on the 3rd morning
It was turned to lifeless stone
I heard it all silently
But did not shed a tear
And for days when I thought
Not a single drop appeared
Sometimes I went to that garden
Where my dearest Honey played
Now turned into its grave
For, that is were it was laid
Then after few more years
That place was left by me
The garden, the box, my Honey
I was never again to see
When these thoughts knocked my mind
I brushed the thoughts aside
For, I could not yet believe that
My dearest Honey had died
May be today as I wrote
About my Honey dear
I did drop a few of those
Long lost tears.


sometimes I wonder, even after such a long time, why this small (is it??) event that took place for such a small duration, should keep coming back.... it doesn't hurt me or bring me tears but I just ponder over it... just like that.

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